Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Evolution of a Writer - Part 3 Balance

I've learned a valuable lesson in these past few weeks. I need to take time out to relax. Many of you may say, "ookay" like it's the most normal thing in the world. For those that know me well, are aware of my tendency not to say "no."

Friend: "Lisa can you do this for me?" I have fifteen other things I need to do. "Sure!" I say and I really mean it. I want to do this for my friend. They need help. I love helping people. My problem is I don't ask for help in return and I know my friends would do that for me. I get overscheduled and overwhelmed, stressed and freaked out. Not good for anyone.

I'm a wife, mom, writer, have a regular job, musician, housekeeper, laundress, cook, and book keeper, and whatever anyone else needs me to be and do. I over scheduled myself and sometimes over book. Guess what? It doesn't work.

I got myself into a situation where I was running full out on all burners and guess what? I ran out of fuel and ended up in the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack.  The doctors monitored my heart rate, and did a nuclear stress test. (I'm still waiting on my super powers). I was so stressed out. My daughter's sleepover birthday party was the next evening and we had been planning it for a while. My husband and son had plans that had been in place for a month. I seriously didn't have time for this. I was over scheduled. Thank God it wasn't a heart attack., but instead of resting like I probably should have, I did the party (simplified) and I made my husband keep his plans. The girls were great  and well behaved so it was all good.

While I was in the hospital I had a lot of time to think. I  have a lot on my plate. I overschedule myself thinking, "I'm superwoman. I can do anything. I can write, work, take care of my family, practice my bass, volunteer. I can do it all. I learned the hard way I can't. I have to take that time to de-stress. To decompress. I believe my writing suffers if I don't.

My sister took a class on how to learn. She was telling me when we wind down, our brains rest and go into that diffuse thinking mode where ideas abound. I was in the shower the other day, and so relaxed, I figured out how my antagonist is going to be killing off mallows in the next Philippa Marlowmellow adventure. It's going to be fun.

So, as I learn to decompress and de-stress, what are some of the ways you balance your career and family? Let me know. I could use a few ideas. :-)

1 comment:

  1. I learned that it's okay to piss people off too. Not intentionally, but if someone gets upset because I can't do something, the problem of their anger lies on their side of the situation -- not mine. We cannot please everyone, as much as we'd like to. The phrase "let the chips fall where they may" is a good one for people who do too much. Others will either take up the slack, or it won't get done. But I've learned that I don't have to do it all. Good post, Lisa.